Instead, enjoy and savor the unusual moment. Humans are still unfinished, that is, under historical construction. By ourselves, we feel little if not the need for food and shelter. It has been that way since the dawn of man. And perhaps we will always be under construction, while aiming at completion but never really getting to an end. As they say, ‘it’s the journey that matters, not the destination.’
So, what do we do when we feel next to nothing, when the image we hold of ourselves is so opaque that we cannot distinguish any meaningful details about ourselves, not even any particular desire? We look for others to tell us who we are. These others, especially the commercial advertisers and marketers, have realized that situation and taken advantage of it by suggesting what you and I should want. And people buy into that, they shop ’til they drop, and so desperately constructing their identity by virtue of goods like fancy sports cars and services like fancy nail salons. It is also called consumerism.
Regardless of an esteemed or envisioned morality, our desires are the desires of the others. While desire drives us on, we do not readily know what we desire. We have a hard time signifying our own desire(s) with words independent of what we perceive that others want us to desire. And that what others want us to desire is already codified in language and expressed every day by them. I just think of advertising and social media.
And that dynamic − that of our desires being the desires of the others, and no matter how reprehensive it seems to many parents who worry about their teenage kids, is a building block of life. Without that dynamic, reprehensible or not, the human lineage probably would have died out of boredom long ago. And that is why having proper role models in young life is important.
Now, if you are not familiar with Lacanian psychoanalysis, let me tell you that I am heavily drawing on Lacan’s speculative insights. Generally, I cannot and will not label speculative insights as truths, but I am pretty sold on some of Lacan’s, especially his prominent explanation of the Mirror Stage.
Lacan’s Mirror Stage
Jacques Lacan’s mirror stage is a concept within psychoanalysis that explores the formation of the individual’s sense of self and identity. According to Lacan, the mirror stage occurs during infancy when a child recognizes their own reflection in a mirror or any other reflective surface. This moment marks a crucial development in the child’s understanding of themselves as a separate and coherent entity.
During the mirror stage, the child experiences a sense of unity and wholeness as they perceive their reflected image as a complete and idealized version of themselves. They identify with this image and strive to align their own sense of self with the perceived image of perfection. However, Lacan argues that this idealized image is actually an illusion, as it does not reflect the child’s true fragmented and incomplete self.
Lacan suggests that this experience of the mirror stage has profound implications for the individual’s ongoing development and their formation of an ego. The mirror stage lays the foundation for the individual’s desire for recognition and validation from others. The stage might already start with the early gazes of the mother that the child may unconsciously internalize. Throughout their life, individuals continue to seek affirmation and acceptance, striving to bridge the gap between their idealized self-image and their actual self. The mirror stage thus plays a crucial role in the formation of identity and the complex interplay between self-perception and social interaction.
Priceless Moment of Freedom
In conclusion, don’t be afraid or freak out when you feel nothing about anything. It really is a priceless moment of freedom. Don’t be desperately reaching for drugs, booze, porn, boy- or girlfriend, or other habit-forming stimuli. Instead, call on a friend if the still moment is unbearable and talk about life and love, fate and choice, or something more mundane like cars or nail salon.
